In this article, Shirley shares with us some of the mistakes that men make during online dating. Some points might apply to women as well.
It could happen during your online chats or phone conversations...
1) Talking dirty / vulgarities in messages
Talking dirty isn't going to make you sound sexy, nor adding vulgarities into your messages make you sound manly. If you have these bad habits, kick them out of your conversations. It will help a great deal...
2) Overly Self-Centered
It's supposed to be a session for the two to learn more about each other, don't just keep talking about your own interests, it might not interest her.
3) Not talking enough
Learn to blend into the conversation, online or phone. If you're not talking enough or simply just answering "yes" or "no", then it can get quite boring. Elaborate on your answers and lengthenthe topics elegantly.
If you have trouble starting good conversations or finding good topics, you might want to get your hands on this 12 Simple Rules for success in Online Dating.
4) Asking the wrong stuff
It should turn the other party off quite bad if you ask for a photo too soon during your conversation. If she does not include a profile photo, don't jump into the conversation and start asking for one.
Shirley commented that some wierd guys even asked for body measurements straight after saying "Hi"... she blocked them for good...
Some questions can be rather sensitive, always think before asking...
5) Forgetting about her
If you've chatted with her before, make sure you remember her because she probably remembers you! If you forget about her and starts asking back the same old questions you did during your previous conversations, you'll lose a great deal of points.
If you have problems remembering, grab pen and paper and start writing... (yeah it sounds crazy, just don't let others know...) Or if you're already chatting on MSN, turn on your chat history, it does help when you can refer back...
6) Ex-girlfriends
The general rule is, if she never ask about your past relationships, you might want to avoid talking about it. Some girls won't want to know (for some reasons...)
Shirley said she met a guy online and for the whole conversation the guy was trying to tell stories about him and his ex-girlfriend... and she got quite irritated...
You should learn to keep it to a minimal, unless she keeps asking for more info...
7) Timing
Timing is everything. If you ask the wrong question at the wrong time, you're giving the wrong idea. For example, you got too excited to meet this girl and asked her out. The clock says 1:15am. A girl is still, afterall a girl. Most will feel insecure meeting a guy at such late hours.
If you're going to ask her out. Do it during " normal hours ".
Or you probably got really excited and asked her out and it's only your first conversation with her... In this case, you're really giving out wrong signals... at least to most girls...
Afterall, why would you be so anxious about meeting up only after a short chat...?
8) Sharing Attention
You might start off chatting with many girls online at the same time, but its really recommended that you keep it to below 5, so that you don't put much of delay on either conversation.
When you do identify the potential ones to chat further, you should try to give them more attention. Sharing your attention isn't a good idea simply because she won't like it!
This is especially important if you're chatting with her on the phone. Give her the attention and you won't go wrong...
9) Asking her to be your Girlfriend
There's nothing wrong about asking her to be your girlfriend, but be really patient about this. There're no rules as to when you should pop this question, it really depends on your progress.
But if you try to rush, then you'll likely be made to wait longer. And be prepared to answer these questions:
"Why are you asking me to be your girlfriend?",
"Why so soon? You sure you know me well enough?",
"What do you like about me?"
or something similar...
But you really shouldn't start asking the question too soon, for example, after chatting for only 2 - 3 days... etc... Patience is a virtue...
10) Pestering
Giving you her handphone number doesn't mean you should keep calling or smsing her unnecessarily. Do it appropriately and if she does not reply, you should probably stop for the moment.
You should also not send sms that could irritate her, for example you SMS her every now and then "Where are you?", it could send the wrong signals and get her irritated because you keep trying to check her whereabouts...
There... you have some guides to help you now... if you need more skills, they can be picked up at this 12 Simple Rules for success in Online Dating
Cheers!
Joe
