It's very normal to have quarrels in a relationship. Some quarrels arise due to financial matters, while some others are caused by negligence. There are just too many things that can lead to quarrels between couples.
So, are quarrels good or bad? How can quarrels be avoided?
Quarrels can be good
It lets you know each other better
Some people only speak up their mind during quarrels. E.g. On any other normal day, he may be a man of few words, but during quarrels, he may start to speak up about his thoughts, views etc.
This may be the time you can get to know what he / she is actually thinking. You should, however, not attempt to start a quarrel in hope of getting to know your partner better, there’re better ways...
It can help revive a dying relationship
Most Singaporeans live a very hectic way of life. Sometimes, we can be too engrossed in our work and thus neglected our partner unknowingly. When this happens, your partner may feel a lack of love and might feel uneasy (and maybe start thinking things).
Many do not realize they have been neglecting their partner until quarrels happen. Quarrels makes us realize what has gone wrong in the relationship, and that’s important when seeking a solution. Sometimes, we might just learn to treasure our partner even more after the quarrel. Most of the time, we tend to take things for granted. This sometimes led to us not treasuring what we have, including our partner. Quarrels and cold war can make us realize how important the other party is and treasure each other before every thing is too late.
Quarrels can also be bad
It leads to additional stress
In a fast paced environment, everybody has their own stress to face. Stress can come from work or family. And when quarrels happen, it adds unnecessary stress and too much stress may result in depression and many other possible illnesses.
It may result in putting an end to the relationship / divorce
No one can tolerate frequent quarrels and unhappiness in a relationship. A home should be a place where there is warmth. Frequent quarrels will just make one feel like giving up.
In conclusion, it’s not good to have quarrels too frequently. So, knowing how to minimize quarrels is very important.
How to prevent / minimize quarrels . . .
Give in
Even though you are not at fault, you can always give in to the other party to prevent or shorten quarrels.
Cool down period
When a person is very angry, he/she will tend to say all sorts of very awful words that may hurt your heart. Learn to not take it to heart. Instead, give some time to the other party to cool down first before sitting down to talk things out.
Don’t cry (for women)
Some men do not like to see women cry. They get more irritated and frustrated at the sight of a teary face. So, learn to control your tears. If you really need to let it out, find a close friend / parents to talk it out and cry it out.
